Musical Memories ~ Rhianna/ Diamonds

Sometimes in our life there's a song that epitomises a moment in our lives. A moment, that lives forever in the lyrics and hauntingly reminds you of that one memory. A sad break up song played on repeat, the song that was playing when love first found a couple, or a simple song hearkening from your childhood happiness. Usually its a current song, or dating from old mix tapes, but recently I've realised this isn't always the case.

Rhianna might be famous for her irritatingly repetitive lyrics (Just buy another umbrella already!), but from her seventh album came a unwitting surprise for me. Tuning into 'Diamonds', I found myself lost in a memory. I would normally just shrugged it off but every time I hear the song it takes me back 15 years to the same moment. Its a beautiful thing that a track can become part of my past.

My boyfriend, the essence of a hormonal first love. We had gone for a walk to escape the cloying attention of my family, the October evening had started early and it was already getting darker. Listening to the track I can remember the taste of our sneaky bag of chips, mingling on  my lips with the salt from the sea. Empowered by the knowledge that I am in love, the hormonal feeling of being invincible. People we normal avoided were blatantly ignored, as we danced along the street, walking on stone walls and singing. I felt aggressive and strong, I could have taken on the world that night.

We reached the beach and stared in awe at the stars. Spinning crazily in the sand and throwing stones into the sea. We spoke of future plans, running forever through the world, unstoppable simply because we were together. I was ecstatically happy, a hormonal high, impossible to recreate. When we left the beach, he grew quieter, but I was so caught up in the momentous joy I felt that I hadn't noticed.

As with many things, and a good deal of hindsight, it wasn't until the day after, that I realised exactly how special that unremarkable moment was to me. He handed me a folded note (Yeah I'm too old for mobiles, and what?), In which he apologised for being so quiet the night before. It said 'You were flying so high, it was like you were dancing with the stars and I was so scared that I would hold you back or hurt you.' To this day I still remember the words that put that night on a pedestal.

He had seen how happy I was, he saw me as special and important, he was scared of losing me. That for me was the ideal some people spend lifetimes searching for. I now know that it was only hormones, the reality is living and loving someone through good and bad, but 'Diamonds' brings back the ecstasy and power I felt that night, I feel like I'm young and unbeatable. I can take on the world and I will win. For this reason alone, it'll stay in my playlist a while longer.

The little village this all transpired in? Findochty. In the heart of Morayshire in Scotland it lies on the North East coast near, Buckie. Very picturesque with a small population of just over 1000. The setting for my teenage formative years, and a million miles from the world of Rhianna's music videos.